wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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