My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize