47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize