Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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