hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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