But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
