I am puke
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
