i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dicks are not precious.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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