"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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