The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
