I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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