im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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