Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
