I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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