Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
