Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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