it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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