Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
