i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
