you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
a search helicopter?!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
