I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize