the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
