You're my little dorito
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
