im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
