he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
