Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
