Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
