Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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