All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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