No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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