I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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