this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize