ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish i was in the wii world.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
