$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
worst night to have a conscience
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
