Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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