4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
