last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize