ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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