My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize