I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
