I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
