we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
