were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
