jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
