last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
