evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
