I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
should my penis look like a turkey
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
