I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
