woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
