I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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