They should really pass out barf bags in church
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
