When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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