On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize