Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
