It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
