k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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