How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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