Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
