i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
