How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
