it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
