The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
