In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
