when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
