I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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