yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
