the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
