When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
