why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
