Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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