Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We need to get me chipped asap
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
