who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
