As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
false alarm, still single
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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