I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
