Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
