you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
