This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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